A clarification before we begin: I’m not about to say that leering at women with drool running down your chin is acceptable. That is not the point. I’m not looking to condone dishonoring behavior; I’m hoping to help good men with some needless guilt.
That said, let’s dive in.
(Edit: I finally got a chance to write an article on porn, masturbation, and fantasy in response to all the emails I’ve received concerning this article. I’ll put another link at the very end of this article for your convenience if you are interested. )
Get Thee to the (original) Greek
(Note, all scripture quotations are in the NASB unless otherwise noted.)
Matthew 5:27-28
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’;
28 but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Because of bad translation, this verse has caused a lot of needless guilt among Christian men for nearly 2000 years. (Ever since they stopped reading it in the original Greek.) Probably the biggest problem is the omission of Greek words which change the meaning of the passage.
And yes, that happens a lot.
To start with, let’s get a somewhat stilted (but more accurate) translation of this passage from my favorite interlinear Bible.
Matthew 5:27-28 (interlinear, which is why it sounds a little funny)
27 You have heard that it was said “not shall you commit adultery”.
28 I however say to you, that everyone looking upon a woman in order to lust after her already has committed adultery with her in the heart of him.
This is my first point: English translations often skip or omit Greek words to make the sentence flow in English. It’s a downside of translating because no translation is perfect. Unfortunately, that’s not the case here. Like I said, they’ve omitted a Greek word for seemingly no reason at all.
I don’t understand why.
The Greek word translated “in order to” is the Greek word “πρὸς” (pros). It’s a preposition with the meaning:
4314 prós (a preposition) – properly, motion towards to “interface with” (literally, moving toward a goal or destination).
4314 /prós (“towards, with”) indicates “extension toward a goal, with implied interaction or reciprocity (L & N, 1, 84.18), with “presumed contact and reaction” (L & N, 1, 84.23). 4314 (prós) naturally suggests the cycle of initiation and response
The Greek word Pros conveys intention. Jesus was talking about intentional, purposeful looking/staring here and that’s the first crucial point. Jesus is not talking about an accidental glance or catching a bit of flesh out of the corner of your eye.
I’ve heard some people really abuse this verse.
Some people say that just thinking a woman is attractive means you’re flirting with lust/adultery. Put simply, that’s stupid. There is nothing wrong with thinking a woman is beautiful, or that she has a beautiful figure. That is not what Jesus is driving at in this passage (which I’ll prove).
So no, thinking a woman is beautiful is not flirting with lust… Because Jesus is not even talking about lust in this passage!
Lust or Coveting?
Let’s talk about the word that’s translated “lust” in that passage. It’s the Greek word “ἐπιθυμῆσαι” (epithumeó). First, I’d like to point out that epithumeó is a verb.
It’s not a noun, it’s a verb.
A noun identifies a person, animal, place, thing, or idea/feeling. A verb (other than a linking verb) indicates action. The word translated “lust” is a verb and thus it indicates action, not a mere feeling or passing thought.
Epithumeó means:
1937 epithyméō (from 1909 /epí, “focused on” intensifying 2372 /thymós, “passionate desire“) – properly, to show focused passion as it aptly builds on (Gk epi, “upon”) what a person truly yearns for; to “greatly desire to do or have something – ‘to long for, to desire very much‘ ” (L & N, 1, 25.12)
So we have the Greek word “Pros” which shows the looking is intentional and purposeful. Now we have the Greek verb epithumeó, which again brings out the purposefulness of the action here. It means to show focused desire on something you really want.
Further – and I can’t stress how crucial this is – you must “greatly desire” and/or “show focused passion” and do it on purpose to be “epithumeó”. Again, this isn’t a passing glance or fancy. It’s not even (necessarily) a double take when an attractive woman walks by.
This is focused, intentional, passionate desiring.
Now, let’s dig the well deeper.
Romans 7:7 (KJV)
7 What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.
Romans 13:9 (ESV)
9 For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
The word translated “covet” above is the same word used in Matthew: epithumeó.
Think about that for a moment.
Really think about it.
When Paul quotes the 10th commandment (you shall not covet), he uses the same word that Jesus uses. Could they have a similar meaning? Absolutely.
Remember: context.
Jesus starts the previous verse by talking about adultery. The 7th commandment forbade adultery, and the 10th commandment forbade the thing that leads to adultery: coveting. earlier in the passage (verses 21-22) Jesus reminded them that murder is wrong, and then forbade the thing that leads to murder: hate.
Notice the symmetry there.
Epithumeó can have a positive connotation. Jesus Himself uses it in Luke 22:15. But in context, it certainly seems that Jesus is referring to the 10th Commandment about coveting.
Now, back to Matthew
The word that Paul uses for “covet” when quoting the 10th commandment is the exact same word that Jesus uses. Further, the context dictates that Jesus is referring to coveting (not lusting), in violation of the 10th Commandment. However, it’s translated “lust” instead of covet because…
because…
I have no idea.
As we’ve already seen, it’s a strong focused desire that’s not necessarily sexual in nature. With that understanding, I’m going to alter the NASB translation slightly to bring it more in line with what we’ve learned so far.
Matthew 5:27-28 (altered NASB)
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’;
28 but I say to you that everyone who gazes intently at a woman in order to covet her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
Makes a big difference doesn’t it?
This understanding totally changes the meaning of the passage from “don’t look at women” to “don’t covet women”. Coveting is clearly a sin and you can find many references to it being one.
However, we don’t have the full meaning of the passage yet. There are still more pieces to the puzzle.
So Let’s Talk About What Coveting REALLY is
I could write paragraphs about what coveting really is. However, I’ll let Dennis Prager explain because he does such a marvelous job. (The video is less than 5 minutes.)
There’s nothing wrong with admiring what another person has. Sin/coveting only comes when you desire to take those things away from another person to own them yourself.
A Note About Adultery
If you require further evidence that Matthew 5 is talking about coveting, then look no farther than the definition of the Greek and Hebrew words that we translate “adultery”. In English, adultery means “a married person having sex with a person other than their spouse“. However, the Greek and Hebrew words have a more narrow definition for “adultery”.
Throughout the Bible, the words we translate “adultery” have only one meaning. Biblically speaking, Adultery is a man having sex with another man’s wife. (Or to state it differently “a married woman having sex with a man who isn’t her husband”.)
I have a whole article about adultery where I prove the statement above at length. Easton’s Bible Dictionary agrees with my definition and defines adultery as:
conjugal infidelity. An adulterer was a man who had illicit intercourse with a married or a betrothed woman, and such a woman was an adulteress. Intercourse between a married man and an unmarried woman was fornication. Adultery was regarded as a great social wrong, as well as a great sin.
If a married man has sex with an unmarried woman, that’s sexual immorality or fornication. Both are serious sins and I am not saying it’s acceptable because it definitely isn’t.
Sex outside of marriage is a serious sin.
It’s a very serious sin. it’s so serious that I devoted an entire article to proving that it’s not only a sin, but a wicked, senseless sin that God promised to judge.
I’m not trying to minimize that at all.
Two unmarried people sin greatly when they have sex with each other. However, they don’t commit adultery. Adultery requires a married woman to be involved. The marital state of the man is irrelevant to deciding if it’s adultery or not; the marital state of the woman determines if it’s adultery.
Now, back to the Matthew (again)
Important point:
In Greek, they don’t have a separate word for “wife” vs “woman”.
They are the exact same word and only context can tell you which is which. (which creates a headache interpreting some passages…) So, what if Jesus wasn’t talking about just any woman, but specifically a married woman? Remember, a man can only commit adultery if he has sex with another man’s wife.
Remember: context.
The point Jesus is making is about adultery. Biblical adultery can only be committed when a married woman is involved. Therefore, the women mentioned here must be married. If she isn’t, then you simply can’t have the sin of adultery. It’s literally impossible.
Please keep that in mind as you read.
Matthew 5:27-28 (Altered NASB from before with the proper meaning inserted)
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT ADULTERY’;
28 but I say to you that everyone who gazes intently at a [married] woman in order to covet her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.
All of a sudden, the whole verse makes perfect sense. Jesus says that if you covet your neighbor’s wife, you’ve as good as committed adultery with her in your heart. The issue is coveting another man’s wife, not noticing an attractive woman.
Conclusion
No, men shouldn’t stare open-mouthed and drooling at attractive women. However, it’s not wrong to notice beautiful women. It’s rude – and unloving/dishonoring – to gawk and stare though so please don’t do that. However, just because you noticed that a woman is beautiful – or even has a great figure – doesn’t mean you’ve violated Jesus’ words in Mathew.
You cross the line when you switch from noticing/admiring to coveting.
It’s about the desire to posses (covet) another man’s wife that Jesus warns about here. It’s perfectly normal and natural to find women attractive; just don’t cross the line and covet another man’s wife.
Just one last thought.
Men: keep it classy and treat all women with honor as if they were daughters of the Most High God… because they are. (Isaiah 45:6-7)
(Edit: Here’s the link to my article about the Bible/God’s position on porn, masturbation, and fantasy if you are interested. )
“Men: keep it classy and treat all women with honor as if they were daughters of the Most High God… because they are.”
All women are not daughters of God, sons of God are those who obey Him.
John 1: 12 but as many as received him, to them gave he [the] right to be children of God, to those that believe on his name;
13 who have been born, not of blood, nor of flesh’s will, nor of man’s will, but of God.
I would cite Isaiah 45:6-7, but I do see your point about obedience. My point was simply that we are called to respect everyone who is made in God’s image, and obviously that includes women.
So… What’s your take on the unmarried coveting the unmarried (masturbating, porn, oogling girls at the beach, etc)? Would the same principle be committing fornication in your heart.
And I’ve heard that during this time, pretty well all women were betrothed before marriage in Jewish culture. So to lust even at an unmarried was just as sinful as a married one. Thoughts?
I’m not sure I can answer that question directly because of your use of the word “coveting”.
If you watch the video again, you’ll see that coveting requires ownership by someone else and the desire to take that thing from that other person. Can you covet something that isn’t owned? I would argue no. Is it wrong for a man to want to “posses” (marry) an unmarried woman? Again I would argue no, partially because nearly all marriages in world history began that way.
So it’s not coveting, but…
…There are other sins and you can desire something in an unhealthy/sinful way. Certainly if you were planning to get an unmarried person into bed before marriage that could be “fornication in your heart”. (I did say several times that oogling women you see walking around is dishonoring and a no-no)
In the Jewish culture, Betrothal was legally binding and required a divorce to break. It was almost no different than marriage, except sex wasn’t allowed yet. an unmarried woman – by definition – wasn’t married or betrothed. I don’t see how desiring to marry an unmarried woman could be a bad thing.
Johnny
Job 31:1 talks about coveting an unmarried woman, I believe he is referring to Exodus 22:16.
For the daughter was also the property of her father.
We see that the man who sleeps with a virgin without the permission of the girl’s father receives a certain punishment, which means that his attitude was wrong.
But if a man has sex with a virgin who has no father then they do not sin, but now they are married..
If what you say is true, then theres a trade off then isnt there? A much higher percentage of women back then were married or about to be married, meaning this also applied to a much higher percent of men. So those men had some sort of romantic outlook for them, even if it wasnt sexual.
Nowadays, its a fact that much more men are involuntarily celibate, ie they cant find a partner, much less a virgin bride as most women are guaranteed to be sexually active after the age of 20. So they have no proper (Biblically) legal sexual outlook, while there are way more women dressing slutty and acting slutty then back then. However, the flip side is more of these women nowadays will be single, although tbh with modern day dating and the way women act, theres no straightforward guarantee to this either.
This leads to the last difference between now and then, now we have, as weird as it sounds, cartoon pornography. Would that fall under these laws? Id imagine not, although it can be seen as glorifying fornication which is bad.
Wouldn’t it be accurate to say though that to fantasize and masturbate to a women who isn’t your wife is cheating on your future wife or her future husband?
Wasn’t sex and sexual thoughts designed to be in a covenantal relationship with a your wife, which reflects God’s covenantal relationship with us?
Isn’t the marriage bed supposed to be honored above all else?
Honoring marriage above all else (even God) would be a sin. Heb 13:4 actually says “Marriage should be honored by all“.
Yes, sex belongs only inside marriage. However, to paraphrase 1 Cor 4:6 “Do not exceed what is written”; I hesitate to comment more on areas where I don’t have chapter and verse to back me up. I have personal opinions, but no clear “chapter and verse” on masturbation and fantasy. If you’d like my personal opinions, feel free to email me (address on the contact page) and I’ll share them. I hesitate to put them here without supporting evidence though, which I don’t have at present.
I have heard this argument about future wife and future husband. The argument sounds illogical to me.
If your not married to them now they are not your wife or husband. That is like saying your will put me in prison now for a crime I will commit 20 years from now. It does not apply in any way shape or form.
It’s like saying I will get written up being no call no show today for a job I will not be employed at until 30 years from now.
How do you even know the person will even get married or not die tomorrow? It just sounds like a way to argue an opinion when there is no scripture to back up an argument.
You say that in Matthew 5:28 the word epithumeó actually means to “covet”.
You also say that “coveting” is sin.
If this is true than in Luke 22:15 Jesus is guilty of “coveting” and therefore sin because the same word epithumeó (greek 1937) is the word that is translated “earnestly desired”
And He said to them, “I have (earnestly desired) to eat this Passover with you
before I suffer;
Therefore if this word really does mean “coveting” than Jesus must have been guilty of breaking the 10th commandment, and therefore sin. And that is an impossibility as He was the sinless Son of God.
Additionally this is not the only passage in which epithumeó is used in a light that is clearly positive and commendable.
I appreciate the level of scholarship you have given to exegete this scripture (really it is some of the best that I have seen thus far.)
However the fact that the word epithumeó is clearly shown to be an action that is not in itself sinful forces the conclusion Jesus in Matt 5:28 is in fact saying that everyone looking at a woman in order to simply “feel natural attraction or desire” for her is in fact sinning against God to the highest degree. To such a degree that he can expect to spend eternity in Hell for it if he does not somehow figure out how to stop, as the next verses clearly indicate.
I do not understand this.
If this is the case then I cannot see how a man can ever choose a wife without sinning. I cannot see how any of us can expect to be able to live in the 21st century without constantly being put in situations in which it is practically impossible to completely avoiding sinning. It seems to me that the old catholic hermits who went and lived in caves away from all women were the ones who had it right in light of this scripture. I do not understand this. It does not make any sense to me in light of the rest of scripture as the whole of scripture does in fact push us to believe that it is possible to live “perfect” as our heavenly Father is perfect. (Matt 5:48) (Gen 17:1) (John 8:11) and many others. I do not see how we can do that if this in Matt 5:28 is indeed the standard.
Nevertheless, if we really are going to be serious with accurately understanding what this scripture is saying than I cannot see how we can come to any other conclusion.
After reading your comment, I went back and made some slight edits to make it clear that epithumeó doesn’t always mean coveting, and that it’s primarily the context that dictates my assertion that it means coveting in Matthew 5:28.
To be clear, as long as you aren’t purposely and intentionally coveting another man’s wife, you don’t run afoul of Jesus’ words here. You might sin, but IMHO Jesus is only talking about coveting another man’s wife in this passage.
I have been continuing to meditate on this passage. It is clear to me now that the word does mean coveting alone “desiring to poses” apart from any sexual desire. For 3 primary reasons. The first reason is because of the word that Jesus chose to use. He did not choose a word that had a sexual connotation. Even though some of those other 16 passages that the word is used in do translate it “desire”. None of any of the passages that the word is used in have any sexual connotation. The reason this is such a important point is because of this second point. And that is this, Jesus is here attempting to literally be as shocking and wide sweeping in His condemnation as He possibly can be. He is literally setting the standard as high as He possibly can in order to refute the claim that He was abolishing the law. Therefore, if He could have used a word in place of epithumeó that would have “swept up more people” into His net, He would have. But He didn’t. He used a word that meant strong “built upon” desire, not just normal desire. And He used a word that does not even have a sexual connotation. For this reason we might even gather that not only is looking at a married or unmarried woman and being sexually aroused by her not condemned but there may even be a curtain degree to which even wanting the woman herself is not necessarily sin as long as it does not become “covetous” desire for her. The 3rd reason that this passage must not be referring to sexual desire is in Genesis where the Lord pronounced all that He had made very good. Including the sexual desire that drives men to “leave father and mother and hold fast to wife”. A good creation of God which 1st Tim 4 confirms declaring “everything created by God is good”, to even “be received by those who believe and know the truth”. It would seem that at long last sexual desire was actually made for believers. Funny how once you understand what the word actually says, the club that the pastor used to beat you half to death with for having eyes and gonads becomes the word that actually gives you faith to enjoy looking at the opposite sex.
Grace & peace brothers and sisters.
Let the feast begin.
The original ancient Greek and Hebrew versions don’t necessarily prohibit ‘premarital fornication’ either, just ‘immoral fornication,’ and what’s considered immoral was never elaborated on (except by man’s faulty translation). In the eyes of God, probably a difference between a couple who has been together for 10 years and not married strictly for economical reasons (credit scores, etc.) versus prostitution or true lust. In my opinion all of this has been purposely over time to turn people away from Jesus, to make his rules appear less “loving and based on morality,” and more just “strict.”
I’m working on an article right now that will show the Bible clearly calls sex outside of marriage a sin. I’ll edit this comment (and the article) when I finish it, because this idea is getting way too popular. Saying something that’s morally wrong is morally right is dangerous.
EDIT: Article published here. Sex outside of marriage is a serious sin.
one thing that still don’t get that you didn’t touch.. the word ” with her in his heart ” ?
There’s nothing of interest in the phrase “αὐτὴν ἐν τῇ καρδίᾳ αὐτοῦ” (literally “with her in the heart of him”) The Greek words mean exactly as they are translated. The application is one of interpretation, not of translation. Essentially, Jesus is saying that you covet the other man’s wife, you are guilty of adultery even though you didn’t commit the physical act because of the condition of your heart. Wanting/wishing to commit a sin and only not committing it because you lack opportunity is the same as committing it in the eyes of The Most Righteous Judge.
If what you say about this verse is correct, why does Job 31:1 talk about lusting after unmarried women?
I never said it was okay to lust after unmarried women, but rather closed by saying men should treat all women with honor.
To be honest I believe the saints where celebrated some days ago. And in my own understanding the saint are those that fall to sin, came out of it, and finished well. Now if you look at this context you will notice that most of them where once sinners but the where consistent in coming out of it. So the bottom line is coming out of it not counting how many time you sinned.
I’m back. You said at the end of the article that gawking at women is in bad taste. Got that. But that brings me to this question. Is it a sin to masturbate? Like, fantasising or viewing a woman on a magazine and pleasuring yourself? Or a cartoon character? Is that the same as gawking at a woman, say, at the mall or in public? I hope you can help me understand. God bless.
There is no verse in the entire Bible you can use to say masturbation is wrong. None. However, it’s not a good idea to make it a regular practice for health reasons. It adversely affects some mood-stabilizing hormones, which can lead to some depression and lack of motivation. (sex doesn’t though; it actually has the opposite effect) Thus its not a good idea to make it a regular practice. Occasional maybe, but not regular.
As for magazines, porn, etc, they rather spectacularly fail the Philippians 4:8 test. Also, 1 Timothy 5:2 mentions treating “younger women as sisters in all purity”. There’s also Job 31:1 to consider. That said, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to have sex. You should want to have sex, and God provided an outlet for that: marriage. Until you’re married though – and after with women who aren’t your wife – I suggest following Paul’s advice to treat “younger women as sisters in all purity”.
That said, not all fantasy is about a specific woman. if you want to imagine your wedding night (or other situation with your future wife) and use that to masturbate, I don’t see a problem with that. However, I would caution against making it a regular practice for health reasons.
I probably need to write an article about this, but I haven’t gotten time. I’ll add a link to this article when I get time to write that one.
Does this apply to cartoon characters? I apologise if this sounds immature. But masturbating to a cartoon character seems different from lusting after a real woman. The issues put forth through the scriptures you quoted above apply to just that. Real women.
It’d be kind of strange calling, say, Mickey Mouse a brother in Christ. Or Helen Parr from The Incredibles a sister in Christ.
The example you gave of fantasising about a future seems to fall under lusting after imaginary women, which cartoon characters are, except visualised and drawn on paper. I could be wrong. What are your thoughts?
Richard, your reasoning is perfect and yet I think it misses the point. 1 Corinthians 6:12 says:
Perhaps (maybe) cartoon porn is permissible… maybe. But as Paul says, is it “profitable”? Is it beneficial?
I don’t see how it could be.
By contrast, I do see how imaging your wedding night/married sex could be beneficial. It’s imagining – dreaming – of the future that often spurns us to work for the future of which we dream. And “for lack of a vision, my people perish”. Additionally:
Marriage is the very thing that God ordained to be a picture of Christ and His church. It’s one of those things from above. Cartoon porn is… not. It’s most definitely an earthly thing.
My suggestion would be to read through the epistles slowly, out loud, to yourself. Not to find any specific verse on the matter, but to get an overall sense of how God expects His followers to behave. The calling is lofty, the struggle is real, and the standards are high. I don’t think I can reconcile cartoon porn with Paul’s statement: “Therefore, I – the prisoner of the Lord – urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling in which you’ve been called,”
You mentioned that “maybe” masturbating to a cartoon character is permissible. So it isn’t clear cut? Is it merely disliked, or could there be a solid scriptural prohibition?
It sounds like you want me to say “cartoon porn is totally fine”, which I won’t do. Please reread my previous comment because I did give an opinion on it, just perhaps not the one you wanted.
First, I would like to thank the admin., Berean Patriot for his/her work in shedding more light on this grey area of the Matthew 5:28 verse. Honestly, I used to be burdened with guilt when I remember the verse for the following reason :
Naturally, I think of myself as a shy person and though I’ve had crushes on girls, I’ve never openly confessed my feelings to any. I normally resort to furtive glances at them, and sometimes to my dismay I do get caught in the act as our eyes meet.😅
However, when I’m alone and feel kinda down, I have these pics of the girl I like( she’s fully clothed in them by the way.) that I go stare at adoringly and admiringly. Thing is, as much as I still do my best to limit my thoughts from getting sexual in nature, I still do get aroused even when I fancy the prospect of a relationship with her like going on a date.
I would then remember the aforementioned verse and feel guilty as I would reason that maybe secretly in my heart I did look at the picture with ‘lustful intent.’ This is usually followed with profuse apologies to God for what may have been my body’s natural attraction to a girl I’m interested in.
But thanks to your explanation, I think I see the fine lines clearer now and I’m grateful.
I would also like to give my two cents on the issue of porn of any form. Personally, I wouldn’t recommend it either. My reason being that what may start off as an innocuous shortcut/comprise may turn out into an insidious bondage.
On physiological level,our brains normally seek novelty, so yesterday’s video may not satisfy you today as it did then, and in essence you may resort to trying out newer and more hardcore genres you would never have imagined your character capable of viewing.
Furthermore,from my research, it messes with our hormonal balance : dopamine (for rewarding pleasure), epinephrine (for memory imprint) and
oxytocin(for bonding sensation). This could steal our away our needed time and energy to live and function normally in favour of repetitive binge watching. I can relate with the need for intimacy especially in lonely or stressful seasons but the costs are quite lofty for the reward. Sometimes what we actually need is company of loved ones,family and friends. I don’t guarantee it absolutely eliminates the raging hormones or horny feelings but it does help manage it.
On the spiritual level, I think a good litmus test would to know if it’s alright to indulge would be to ask :”what would Jesus do?” I think He paid rather heavy price with His life for our freedom and would wish we remain free and joyful. I would highly recommend this video by Pastor Joseph Prince which sheds more light on the matter: https://youtu.be/9Vx3AgKmlQE . And I would leave with the verse Proverbs 4:23. Thank you and God bless you.
Twisting the truth is lies! Repent! My Greek to English Interlinear (πρὸς = to) and the Google translate is the same! Do not be decieved. Take care and guard your heart.
All glory to God in the mighty name of Jesus Christ
You trying to defend! Good luck. Jesus is clear looking at a woman you already committed adultery! Don’t act like a saint.The point is its biology when we look at a woman the instinct is lust. But the spirit aka consciousness unique of being a human being tells us Hey , you are not an animal, its not right to think or feel that way. As real human beings we stop there and look for inner beauty.
Lets not out smart Jesus.
@ Richard; I know I am commenting months later, but this response is for those who may be asking the same questions. Although the Bible doesn’t explicitly say that “masturbation” is sinful, there are truths that should cause a follower of Christ to seriously consider stopping the practice.
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new. – 2 Cor 5:17
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. – 1 Cor 6:19-20
So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. – 1 Cor 10:31
The fruit of the Spirit includes self-control – Gal 5:22-23
So ask yourself the following questions… When masturbating, are you honoring God? Are you keeping His temple holy or defiling it? Does our Father find any glory in you pleasuring yourself while viewing other women or men who were created in His image? Does the Father find in any glory in any form of pornography? Are your thoughts pure when you are gratifying yourself? Are you practicing self-control?
If you only knew the root of pornography and how many women and children are being trafficked as a result of it. The numbers are astounding and anyone in Christ would be abhorred by pornography of any form. Masturbation is addictive. No way can anyone exercise self-control doing this practice. Our bodies have been redeemed and belong to God and you are certainly not honoring Him. Jesus said, “If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow me.” Making love to your wife is much more pleasurable. Pro 18:22 says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” If you don’t have a wife, wait until you get one. However in the meantime seek to please the LORD, not yourself. Once we delight ourselves in the LORD, He promises to give us the desires of our hearts. – Psa 37:4.
Great conversation of Matthew 5:28.
First, porn or imagery is consider idolatry! Not to mention ALL the worldly problems, phycological, sex slavery, slave to sin, etc. Second, Jesus gave us commands all throughout the New Testament “pick up your cross and follow me” to name one. Third, we (believers) are to respect others, and as men be Christlike (do you think Jesus would watch porn, NO!!!). Fourth, each man is to work out his own salvation, and will be judged for his conducts after becoming a new creation in Christ. Finally, let this testimony serve as a warning of committing adultery. I am 42, married, 4 years ago I lusted after a woman in my heart after looking at her, and meeting her. She was 10 years younger than I and in a short time an emotional affair started, which turned into a physical one. It was wrong, I pay for it every day, I will have to stand before Christ and account fit it. See it was the “lusting after her in my heart” that caused me to sin. Had I exercised self-control and been sober-minded my heart would have recognized the initial warning and “cut it off” leading me, by the Holy Spirit, to not sin and rather seek God’s wisdom to overcome the temptation. That’s my two cents. May Jesus Christ reign in your hearts. God bless you.
If we follow the analysis and translate γυναῖκα, “woman”, as “married woman”, because Jesus spoke of adultery, and translate ἐπιθυμῆσαι as “covet” rather than “lust after”, then Jesus wasn’t saying anything different from what had already been said in the ten commandments (Exodus 20) which prohibited both adultery and coveting.
However, it seems Jesus wanted to go further than this. Consider how Jesus treated anger in Matthew 5:21-24. He saw anger (“without a cause”, in KJV) in the same light as killing. That is a major change from Exodus 20. He is likely making another major change in Matthew 5:27-30 with regards to adultery.
I would not add “married” in front of “woman”. Jesus is referring to any woman. Also I would not replace lust with coveting. Both of those interpretations water down what Jesus has said.
That means we have to face this as a prohibition against lust outside of marriage. That would include prohibitions against pornography and masturbation. Can we follow such a command? Our culture would likely say, no, and call this some sort of ideal to strive for which can’t be realized. However, Jesus didn’t say to strive for this as an ideal. He meant it to be obeyed. We can do this, but I don’t think we can do it for long without the aid of the Holy Spirit. It’s good that we realize we need the Holy Spirit. We can’t do this alone. We need the Holy Spirit to be perfect. Jesus seemed to be telling us that being perfect is achievable and being perfect means that we keep sexual desire within marriage.
Except “married woman” is required by the definition of adultery. If a married woman isn’t involved, it can’t be adultery. Period. I proved that at length in this article. I agree we should strive towards perfect, but it sounds like you’re saying that perfect is achievable. It isn’t: see 1 John 1:8, and note the present tense.
You reference 1 John 1:18, but you mean 1 John 1:10 as 1 John 1 only has 10 verses. Read 1 John 1:9 to understand you can be forgiven of ALL unrighteousness. Agreed perfection is not obtainable in this body, BUT when we submit to the power of the Holy Spirit and scripture truths we have help to overcome temptation and to repent and be restored. Also, there is no justification for adultery, or sex/sexual relations outside of marriage; our lustful thoughts must be taken captive and our minds renewed daily, hourly, in each moment if necessary to overcome the spiritual attacks of the Evil One. Please read your Bibles for yourselves and let the Holy Spirit guide your life and work out your own salvation with God through Jesus Christ our Rock and redeemer. Please pray and read Matthew 6 for direction on prayer from the very lips of Jesus Christ.
Yup, a typo on my part, now fixed. I meant 1 John 1:8 though, not 1 John 1:10.
Job said ” I made a covenant with my eyes. ( Taking upon himself precautionary measures
hello sir your article was very good but i have found a problem.
I’m pretty sure that lusting after someone that still single is still sin but if jesus only emphasised on married women then it is not a sin, so he should have meant singles too.
Thank you.
These days some ( typically younger) women are telling me that they not only don’t want staring, but if men “bounce their eyes” ( look quickly away) it also offends them. I asked some of them in a discussion group about noticing that certain styles of dress get their husbands interested and yet they wear those same styles in public and to church ( cleavage, shorter skirts, yoga pants etc). I kind of reject the notion that looking away is bad, but I think women have some responsibility. They may be a little on the innocent side in thinking they’re just being stylish, but the tip off is whether their husband finds those styles alluring.
It would be nice if people could go anywhere at any time of day, dressed in what would historically be considered provocative clothing, but it isn’t realistic. There seems to be either ignorance or willful rejection of male biology here. If you don’t tell me how my chemistry works, I won’t offer my 2 cents on what it feels like to have a monthly period.
i would say that scripture is about the intent and act of lust, committing a form of rape in ones mind is it not? and is not the sin committed against the woman; its a sin against her correct?
the very intent and act of coveting is desire and taking it as your own – even if done in the heart-fantasy, it is adultery correct?
Look at Revelation 2:20-22, it uses porneia (used twice in two verses) and moicheia (in v. 22) interchangeably. I see your distinction between the two is usually the case, but this instance here says to me that you can’t make it as if they can NEVER be used one for the other.
You’re welcome. 🙂 The “don’t cause to stumble” argument has always been a bit confusing to me. It places the responsibility for a man’s (potential) sin on the woman. That’s a no-no, see Ezekiel 18. It’s a blame shifting “the devil made me do it” kind of statement. Besides, I have seen women in floor length dresses with high necklines and long sleeves who behave in a such a way as to negate the extensive covering. I’m not saying a woman can’t dress inappropriately, but behavior is a bigger factor IMHO.
As for dressing “modestly”, IIRC, back when the KJV was translated “modest” meant the same thing that “respectable” does today. Modesty has taken on a “Christianese” flavor, which distorts the word’s meaning. The only other place the word is used is in the next chapter referring to elder’s behavior. I would say that a Christian woman can be “modest” (respectable) in a swimsuit in the right context (beach or similar). As long as the pudenda (see my article on divorce or my article porn/masturbation/fantasy) is covered and the clothing is respectable in that culture and context, I don’t see a problem.
I’m just seeing this for the first time in 2022. I appreciate the clarification on this verse. I grew up in a very conservative church who used this verse to beat the single young men over the head all the time. It was always: Don’t look! Don’t touch! Don’t even think about it! Don’t look at girls! Don’t look at porn! Don’t masturbate! It’s all bad! It’s all evil!
The net result: I grew up considering sex evil. As a single man, sexual desire only produced guilt and shame in my life.
Then I got married. Here is what I discovered – you cannot magically “flip a switch”. It is impossible for the human mind to consider something evil for years and years, and then suddenly consider it a good activity that’s good to enjoy with my wife. Guilt and shame afflicted my sex life INSIDE MARRIAGE for years. Imagine how that made my wife feel. Ya… not good. The conservative teachers inside my church simply didn’t understand (or didn’t want to understand) what they had done. I know this affected other men, too, from this ultra-conservative denomination.
For those reading this, if you want to know what God’s view is of sexuality than read the Song of Solomon. See the flirtation, the seduction, the passion between a young man and woman. No crushing religious guilt or shame. They thought about sex. They wanted sex. They wrote songs about kisses, each others’ bodies, and making love. By comparison, the “courtship” I experienced was very mechanical and restrictive. This is not what God intended. This what pharisaical-like religion did to me… men heaping burdens of man-made rules on top of what God said. It makes me sad, sometimes, to think about the giddiness of youthful sexuality that my wife and I missed out on.
God is truth. His Word is truth. Follow what God says, not what people say.
Another thought I had, along with my comment above. Always beware the heaping on of rules. Religious people think they bring life, but they don’t. Rules don’t kill sin. They only excite sin. Excess rules don’t bring life, they bring death and despair because they create and highlight failure.
“But sin, seizing its opportunity through the commandment, produced in me every kind of covetous desire. For apart from the law, sin is dead. Once I was alive apart from the law; but when the commandment came, sin sprang to life and I died. So I discovered that the very commandment that was meant to bring life actually brought death. For sin, seizing its opportunity through the commandment, deceived me and through the commandment put me to death.” – Romans 7:7-11
1 Corinthians 7 goes into a lot of detail about marriage versus singleness. But 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 specifically touches on the fact that if you “burn with passion”, you get married, so you can carry out that passion. If you are in control of that passion though, the scripture says it is better to stay single. No where does this scripture imply that it is not adultery if you remain single and just sleep around with anyone who is not a married woman. And what about Matthew 19:9 and Mark 10:11-12? I think Proverbs 4:25-28 really sums up very well what we should be doing with our focus and how we should control even which way we turn out bodies as we are looking. “Let your eyes look straight ahead: fix your gaze directly before you. Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways. Do not turn to the right or the left: keep your foot from evil.”
I recommend you read my article What Jesus Meant by Adultery in Matthew Chapters 5 & 19, which also deals with Mark 10. My goal with the article wasn’t to endorse libertine behavior, but rather to lift some needless guilty from men.
I understand where you are trying to come from. I feel though that going into further detail between the difference in “looking” and “glancing” greatly clarifies if adultery is happening. A glance, by all, makes it nearly impossible to commit adultery, even in one’s heart. A glance is so quick, by definition, that you saw the woman from only an angle, and you were not able to even get any detail, because the glance was so quick. If you are able to take in detail, Jesus is saying that at this point, satan is going to use that to cause you to think more on that woman’s body than you have the right to do, because she is not your wife, and you have no rights to her body.
Jesus so says in this scripture “anyone”, not just “man”. Looking, past a glance, is so powerful, that ANYONE, according to this verse, can be considered an adulterer, when they “look” (anything more than a glance, long enough to get some kind of detail to fester in one’s mind) or “covet”, or “lust” at or over A WOMAN. Jesus could have very easily said “only a married woman” here. He could have very easily said “man”. But He said “anyone” and “a woman”.
So if your intent is to help men understand that “No, their glance is not considered adultery, because there is no way they could have seen anything of detail about the woman”, then I agree. However, the intent also needs to be clear that looking is the sun of adultery, it can be done by anyone (not just men), and it is toward any woman, not just married women.
As far as “nothing being wrong with thinking a woman is beautiful or attractive”, ask any man who has a porn addiction or a sexual addiction, if they started out thinking it was okay to look at women’s detail so much, that they were able to decide just by her looks if she was beautiful or attractive. If you are specifically looking at a woman to pay attention to her outward beauty, you are intently looking at details of her body and thinking about those details, and if you can replace the word “beautiful” with the word “attractive”, then you have thought of her in a desirable, or coveted, or lustful manner. The problem lies in the fact that single people have been “conditioned” to believe that they have the right to “look”, and then so when a man becomes married, he doesn’t know what to do with that “conditioning”.
Again, I feel you should not have tried to break the scripture down into something that you felt makes more sense with your insertions. If your intent is to help men understand their sin in regards to what is and isn’t adultery, help them to understand the difference between a look and a glance. That is simple and leaves for no confusion. Otherwise, what I feel has come out of your article is minimizing this sin. I say all of this respectfully.
Jesus did say “a man” and “only a married woman”. The Greek word there is masculine, indicating men. And as stated in the article, adultery can only occur when a married woman is involved, thus it’s “only a married woman”. See the link in my previous comment for proof.
Understanding the difference between a glance and look is confusing though, and it’s not the point of this passage. Greek doesn’t actually have a word that means “lust” in the sense of inappropriate sexual desire. It simply doesn’t exist. There’s words for desire (whether good or bad), but not lust. I believe that Jesus’ point here is that the desire to have sex with another man’s wife makes a man just as guilty before God as actually having sex with another man’s wife. There are other passages to go to on the topic of controlling our thought life, and I have a whole article on porn, maturation, and fantasy but that’s not the point of this particular passage.
I would note that when Jesus said “everyone”, this includes unmarried men who are looking at a woman with this desire to have her. If it were adultery to desire a woman, then what married man, at one time did not do so when he first saw the woman he would eventually marry, or the many women who he desired prior to marriage (assuming monogamy), whom he did not end up marrying?
I think it’s very unChristian-like how almost every single person in the comments is trying to prove you wrong and dissect the message and many times get away from your message you’re trying to convey. I think it is a very good message and it was extremely helpful in teaching my teenage and adult boys the proper ways of the Ten Commandments and what the Lord expects from us. It’s impossible to be perfect and it gives my boys hope that they aren’t breaking a commandment every time they talk to a woman. I think God wants us to date and get married and procreate but some preachers make it sound like you’re going to hell if you so much as look at a woman and I don’t think that’s what God intended for us at all so thank you for this video it was brilliant.
When you seek the truth and God — your personal feelings shouldn’t play into account. It’s the first commandment — “Love God.” How are you loving God if you’re changing his own words, because of your personal feelings? You’re then breaking that commandment, because you think your way is better than God’s way. It’s signs of serious pride, and stubbornness. These are actual sins and God says he hates a prideful heart; so polygamy is the least of that person’s concerns imo.
I sense in my spirit that there are many men who self-pleasure and go to great lengths to excuse it. Let me ask you: Men, before you engage in self-pleasure, could you take a moment and ask God to bless the act you are about to engage in? No one can. Because masturbation leaves the person empty and feeling guilt or shame (unless one overrides that convicting feeling enough times…and then, they just feel empty). Masturbation opens the doorway to fantasy. There is no excusing this reality. Men who do this are taking away from God’s natural design.
Wow. I love this article. God richly bless you with more wisdom and understanding as you gain knowledge, precise knowledge.
I am glad this line of thought came to me and I started to research. Seriously, I believe the Holy Spirit led me to your article. Wow. Thank you again.
Great insight but there are some issues I have with one saying sex outside of marriage is a sin. Then Moses,Abraham ,David,Saul, Gideon , Solomon and many men of God had concubines , and many wives , concubine : the meaning is sex lovers, so you are saying these great men of god where in deep sin , now remember what was write of old was for our learning , or instruction , Paul said”
Also God word says he is no respecter of person , and is the same yesterday and today and forever correct , now the reason masterbate I believe is they have been put under boundage , and limited by man and government and even the church what he can and cannot do and glorified the woman to the point they can sin against there husband and not fulfill his needs or desires and allow the women to be disobedient to gods word , wives submit to your husbands in everything , also don’t keep from sex except for prayer and fasting and when completed come together sexually lest satan tempt you that is the only reason to deprive and husband . When today act like prositutes as long as a man or husband provides for the all there material needs and wants the will please the man if he can’t she divorces him and moves on to another and takes everything from him permission by the court.
The reason you don’t see verses on masterbation is because the men of old had concubines or another words for it sex partners or mistresses to meet there needs have children if there wife couldn’t or if she was ill and couldn’t fulfill his needs , Jacob’s wife couldn’t have children so she gave her servant girl to Jacob to bare him children, the lord was please with what she did and blessed her with children ,
Solomon sin against the lord was not that he had 300 wives and 700 hundred concubines , it was that they where foreign women , ungodly women from Egypt and that the lord told him they where going to take his heart away from the lord and that’s what they did.
David had 18 wives and concubines yet the sin he was called out on was he sin with Bathsheba taking another man’s wife and killing her husband not that he had many wives or concubines , in fact when Nathan the prophet used of the lord to cal out David sin , he told him David I have given you many and even the household of Saul and if that was not enough I would have given you more if you asked . So let be very clear even the lord had 3 wives Israel and Judea and the now the church, and even when the parable of the 10 the bride groom was coming for 10 virgins , but only 5 where ready the groom is a picture of Jesus . Hmm
It sicking that our government will allow same sex marriage but not allow a man to have more then one wife ? Why is that because look at the financial benefits of a married couple with children amazing a man with 10,wives and we kids the government would get no tax money and they want to control the household or let’s say the women and children as they do now and have ruin the family and destroyed the men of our country but will allow the abomination same sex marriage even the church is caught up in this , not the same sex marriage but one wife only , why because they are controlled by the government , they do what the government says or they get there tax exemption canceled .
Foreignication is one worshipping other Gods and a man sleeping with a prositute for money , or having sex with out taking responsibility for the concubine , or mistress or sex lover or sister wife , when there is an agreement he needs to take care of his mistress or sex lover , and in exodus and deuteronomy gives instructions , 1, if a man desires another wife he must take care of his first wife and meet her needs, 2, if a man has 2 wives and the one he hates had his son first and the one he loves had his son 2nd, the inheritance goes to the first sone regardless of how he feels about the first wife.
Oh also it is very clear what are the sexual sin and that are an abomination it’s spell out in Leviticus 18mclear lays out the sexual sins.
Not Peter talks about us parting and and just sleeping around with not responsibility and if the girl or woman get pregnant he is to take care of that woman and child if he is a believer other wise he’s worse then an unbeliever. And the Christian woman belongs to that man and is to submit to him and respect him and honor him regardless of his age or status , she his wife now with his child, it is the intercourse that make the union of marriage not a government paper . And there agreement they agreed to have sex and now a child is born they are one.
This might not be favorable but a woman who divorces her husband and marrys or has sex with another man cord to Gods word as long as he is alive she is committing adultry , period if we have listen to the church of today and pastors they have cheapened the grace of God, Paul said it what because we are under grace we can sin ? God forbid he said . You pastors are going to be accountable for your lies, I did realize this till one day in my study it clicked and the Holy Spirit taught me. I and I asked for forgiveness nd now I will not marry any woman who has been divorced and wants to marry another man , scripture as long as her husband is alive she is committing adultry , Paul says if a wife leaves her husband she is to remain single or if she has the sexual desire she is to go back to her husband , note Jesus words if a man divorces his wife and marrys another he causes his wife to commit adultry . But not if he doesn’t divorce and marrys another wife . Hmm .
Something to think about .
God speed
So, I’ll skip past some large areas of disagreement to point out the most important two.
– Concubines were wives according to scripture, see my article on the topic: What are Concubines in the Bible? Were They Wives or Unmarried Mistresses?.
– Additionally, the Bible is very clear that all sex outside of marriage is wrong; see my article: Yes, The Bible CLEARLY Says Sex Outside of Marriage is Wrong.
– You might also be interested in this article: Biblical Reasons for Divorce, When Remarriage is Allowed, and How Adultery Figures In.
Does not Leviticus 15:16-18 talk of “emission of semen” (masturbation) as does Dueteronomy 23:10 “nocturnal emission “ (wet dream)?
Neither is condemned but both considered unclean.
Ceremonially unclear doesn’t mean sinful. Sex with your wife also made you unclean, but obviously isn’t a sin. I cover that verse in the follow-up article linked to at the beginning and end of this article. 🙂
Absolutely, I do agree that unclean does not equal sin. I was mostly wondering if my assertion of those verses were indeed talking or referring to masturbation and “wet dreams”.
Ah, okay. I think Leviticus 15 is talking about both, but the Deut 23:10 passage seems to be talking about wet dreams only.
This utterly disgusts and disturbs me that a man would use these scriptures to entice men to believe what they are doing is right.
We all know noticing a woman on the street quickly quickly quickly turns to lust for a man.
Men, those scriptures are definitely talking about MEN lusting after women who are NOT their own. The scripture implied that at least one of the people were married however using common sense and wisdom of God we know the teaching was basically saying if you are not married to that woman you are looking at, but you are lusting – it IS adultery in your hearts.
This is causing confusion! We had someone now ask what about people engaging in cartoon sex – whether that falls in line.
The heart is so wicked.
This is really bad teaching and causing men to think that taking that double take of a woman who is not your wife, isn’t sinful.
Focus on God, Jesus, etc.
Hi Upset,
You do understand that what is being condemned is “ἐπιθυμῆσαι”, not lust right? The term “lust” is a modern invention. Don’t add to the word of God, that is a sin.
Also, the Lord condoned multiple wives for men in the old Testament, such as David, Moses, Solomon, etc. For those men to have multiple wives, they must have desired another woman outside of their already established marriage. But they had multiple wives anyway, and were not condemned for it. So how can you say it is a sin?
You guys are brilliant! Truly. Appreciate each one of you. I am an old humble preacher’s kid. Raised by the Bible and s great father who tolerated my mother cheating on him most of his marriage. In fact, he died in 2009. Mom passed in 2018. He was incredible. He forgive her instantly and every, single time. Never brought it up again. She was a maniac back then. Physically, emotionally, spiritually, verbally abusing Dad snd us 3 kids. For years snd years snd years. Yet he loved her and only her and did not stray. We found out about 4 months ago that my sweet little brother, now 61, is my half brother. Dad was in Bible college when Mom got pregnant by another man
So, why do I share this with you guys? Here is why. I believe that in context, Jesus was saying that to look on another woman with just lust is sinful. The flesh is sinful. Keep doing that and it leads to fornication and perhaps adultery., most certainly a porno addiction. You cannot commit adultery with someone in your mind or in your bed if both of you are not married. To break the bond of marriage and to defile the marriage bedroom requires a marriage. Jesus is God. He is a forgiving and loving God. He does not want ys guts out in the streets panting snd salivating at every hot babe out there. There are quite s few out there. We need to control our thoughts. Can we feel lust and not sin? Of course we can. Is it sinful yo covet another man’s wife or girlfriend? Yes. It is. So do your best to avoid that. We are human. He made us guts especially to be attracted to women. It us Onay to feel the attraction. The problem is if lust us left unchecked. My mother did this xnd it almost destroyed our family. If not for the real true agape live of my awesome Father, none if us would be here, be saved, and be able to love.
Original language is original language. Good job on the word definitions. I’m disgusted by the twisting of it for approval of sin.
John Martin – shameful. Can you lust and not sin? You said yes. I caution you to stop your sins and covering them with wordsmith skills.